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Congealed Smegma

TV Comedy

As we enter the final run-up to Red Dwarf XI‘s broadcast in September, it occurs to me that I haven’t mentioned any of the stuff I’ve done over on Ganymede & Titan recently – the Red Dwarf fansite described by someone on Tumblr as “a shining example of how NOT to do fandom”.

A few articles I’ve written which may interest you, then:

  • End of Part One – About the ad breaks in Red Dwarf X… and about how more careful placing of them could have ended up with a better-structured programme.
  • Nice Going On The Idiotic Gaffe Front, Sirs – On how a fansite deals with spoilers, when most of them are escaping from the production or channel itself.
  • “We’ve found a stasis leak on Floor 16…” – Taking a look at how much of online Red Dwarf fandom from 2004 still exists on the web now. (Spoiler: virtually none.)
  • Hancock’s Half Hour: The Tycoon – One of my favourite things I’ve written anywhere this year, all about how the basic story of the Red Dwarf episode Better Than Life was done by Hancock’s Half Hour 30 years before… even the science fiction premise.

It strikes me how most of the above aren’t really pieces purely about Red Dwarf. Whether it’s about the impact of ad breaks on TV shows, how productions and channels should be thinking about spoilers, how the web has changed since 2004, or how science-fiction style concepts are done in non-science fiction shows, there might be stuff that interests you above even if you aren’t a hardcore Red Dwarf fan.

For people who are hardcore Red Dwarf fans though, we have some fun stuff coming up over the next few weeks. Our DwarfCasts have really kicked into gear this year, with our commentaries on the episodes Queeg and Demons & Angels being some of my favourite ones we’ve done recently.1 In the lead-up to Red Dwarf XI, however, we’re going to be publishing new commentaries on Red Dwarf X every weekend – and the one for the first episode Trojan is already up.

I sometimes find writing and participating on Ganymede & Titan to be a weird experience these days, considering my extremely mixed opinions on any Red Dwarf made since 1993. And it can lead to some interesting moments. Our next Red Dwarf X commentary due this weekend is on the episode Fathers and Suns, and features the slightly bizarre sound of me – usually the person slagging off the show – defending an aspect of the episode to Ian, who is usually far more positive about the series than me. That tension will hopefully make for some good listening.

Or, y’know, just really fucking annoy everyone.


  1. There’s also this interview with Mac McDonald, which I had precisely nothing to do with, but is bloody great. 

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Beyond a Joke

TV Comedy

Another month, and another set of articles I’ve written over on Ganymede & Titan – the Red Dwarf fansite where Rob Grant’s daughter once posted the immortal words “John is a whore”. This month, I’ve been posting a few joke history investigations:

You will note from the update at the end of that last article that I am currently making my way through the entirety of The Burkiss Way. As punishments go, it’s not exactly a severe one.

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Xtended Revisited

TV Comedy

As this place is a bit quiet at the moment, I thought I’d point you towards some stuff I’ve been doing over on Ganymede & Titan – the Red Dwarf fansite where my writing has been recently described as “uneducated, vulgar and puerile”. (To be fair, at least two of those descriptions are entirely correct.)

My latest series of articles has a rather bizarre history. The first one was published in 2007, but I only got round to finishing the rest of them over the last couple of months… a full eight years later. (My excuse is that I got very depressed at how bad the actual episode was when I tried to write the second article, but an eight year delay may well be taking things a bit too far.) The subject matter, however, is very much one of my favourites – comparing different versions of the same material. Previous examples on this site include a comparison of the broadcast and VHS edits of Smashie & Nicey: The End of an Era, and a look at the pre-watershed edits of I’m Alan Partridge. Very much in this vein, this set of articles compare the original broadcast versions of four episodes of Red Dwarf with the extended versions released on VHS/DVD.

It strikes me that these articles are exactly the kind of thing which induce a rather glazed look in some people’s eyes. I vividly recall, when talking about a planned article comparing the broadcast version of a Men Behaving Badly episode with its original script, somebody posing the simple question: why?

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High & Low

TV Comedy

High & Low clapperboard In lieu of anything new on here for a bit, I thought I’d point towards a few articles I’ve written over on Ganymede & Titan – the Red Dwarf fansite described by none other than Norman Lovett as a “sad little site for people who haven’t got anything better to do”. Our latest series of articles is called High & Low, and is basically BuzzFeed but better.

My three articles are about the best and worst:

So, y’know. Click on those. Or just listen to Shampoo instead, I’m not bothered.

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Oh, a magic door! Well, why didn’t you say?

Computing / TV Comedy

Kryten uses a BBC Micro

It is a truism that fandom has hugely changed over the last twenty years. My favourite example of this is Red Dwarf Series 1: it was only released on VHS in 1993, five years after broadcast. Before then, it was only passed around as grotty nth-generation off-airs. Meanwhile, Red Dwarf X was released on DVD a week-and-a-half after the final episode – and on iTunes throughout the run.

Another thing changed from that time is public domain software libraries. Gone are the days where you could order floppy disc upon floppy disc full of fascinating stuff, and have to wait excitedly for it to arrive. I distinctly remember wanting to order nearly every disc from that BBC Micro public domain library; I could only afford a handful. Now, everything is just a click away.

Out of the whiz-bang demos and, erm, mouse drivers, one disc in particular I did manage to order sticks in the memory. That was BBC PD Disc #165 (formerly a Mad Rabbit PD disc), Red Dwarf Documents“Answers to ‘Frequently asked’ questions about Red Dwarf, a complete episode guide and other text files of interest to the Red Dwarf fan.” (Proper Red Dwarf fans will realise that the disc number should clearly have been #169.)

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Weird Edits Part #8274232

TV Comedy

Beware: this post is at the extreme end of television geekery. If you object to that, pop off to Digital Spy, now.

Back? Good. Here then, is something I guarantee you haven’t noticed before about Father Ted, brought to my attention by the not-literally eagle-eyed Danny Stephenson. The episode in question is Are You Right There, Father Ted? – take a look at the beginning of the bedroom scene between Ted and Dougal. (Ignore the ad break that’s been cut out there for the DVD release – that’s a whole separate issue…)

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DWARD.

TV Comedy

It’s been a bit of a quiet time recently on Dirty Feed, as I’ve been busy… doing something very complicated. In the meantime (if you haven’t already) check out my review of Lemons, the third episode of Red Dwarf X – which serves as a handy sequel to this Dirty Feed post from last year. Bearing in mind how I felt about the first two episodes this series, it was a pleasant surprise that I rather enjoyed this one. SPOILERS.

I’ll also be taking part in LIVE DWARFCASTS immediately after Episodes 5 and 6 analysing the fuck out of the show, on from 10pm on Thursday 1st and 8th November. A link to the STREAM will appear on the front page of Ganymede and Titan and on the site’s Twitter feed shortly before broadcast; previous episodes happily not featuring me can be downloaded here.

I do hope my squealing fangirls will be in attendance.

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Dave: The Home of Shitty Edits

TV Comedy

Over the last few years, the following pattern has occurred in our household. a) Stick Dave or Gold on the telly. b) Spot some stupid edit in a beloved sitcom. c) SHOUT ABOUT IT ON TWITTER OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

For the last four weeks, to prepare for the upcoming broadcast of Red Dwarf X (Thursday 4th, 9pm folks!), Dave have been showing each series of Red Dwarf – backwards. (Don’t ask.) So, I thought, why not use my capacity for moaning and extreme anality and document all of the edits? Here you go, then:

The conclusion to the last article is especially worth reading for how I think Dave could have dealt with things better. The easiest solution all round, however, would be: don’t schedule post-watershed sitcoms pre-watershed. But let’s face it – if Dave can’t treat what is now its biggest property with respect, they’re not likely to do it with anything else.

Whenever you watch a sitcom on Dave or Gold, more likely than not you’re watching some version that’s been hacked about with. That’s no way to treat our comedy heritage.

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Dirty Feed Podcast #2: Bodysnatcher

Podcast / TV Comedy

Screengrab from Bodysnatcher

And so, with the surprising success of the opening episode, welcome to the second Dirty Feed podcast. This time, I take a look at Bodysnatcher – an unmade episode from the very first series of Red Dwarf

[mejsaudio src=”https://www.dirtyfeed.org/downloads/podcast/dirtyfeed-2.mp3″]

Download Podcast #2: Bodysnatcher (23MB MP3, 11:45)
(Subscribe using RSS / iTunes)

As ever, I’d love to have your feedback below. Hopefully they’re interesting in their own right, but these podcasts are also warm-ups for some longer, half-hour shows later in the year – so any suggestions are pathetically gratefully received.

DISCLAIMER: I do know someone who worked on the DVD release mentioned here. Seeing as I spent an entire year slagging off Back To Earth though, I think you can be confident that my opinions about Red Dwarf are honest.

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Red Dwarf X Set Reports Roundup

TV Comedy

Last Friday saw the last Red Dwarf X audience recording. And last Saturday saw the last Red Dwarf X Ganymede & Titan audience recording report. I’ve been part of the site since 2003, and whilst I don’t like to blow my own trumpet, as Alex Picton-Dinch would say, I do think these are some of the best things we’ve ever published, and worth a link here. If only because it’s fairly difficult to make them boring.

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