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# As every galaxy was formed in less time than it takes to sing this song…

Published 24th January 2011

Music / Other TV / TV Comedy / TV Drama

A thought crossed my mind the other day. (This is quite rare, so savour it.) When talking about favourite telly theme tunes, people often mention ones from the 90s and earlier. Which is eminently understandable – apart from any perceptions about quality, television is less and less likely to give programmes time to have a decent theme tune these days.

Still, it’s not like they don’t exist. So, as a celebration of great theme tunes post-2000, I asked the Twitter hive mind for their opinions. Their thoughts follow; before I carry on with the next stage of my little plan, are any of your favourite 21st century theme tunes missing? Let me know below…

Update (26/01/11): Loads more of your suggestions added!
Update (31/01/11): More suggestions added!

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Miranda, Catherine and Andrew

Published 8th January 2011

TV Comedy

Miranda Hart

In a rare guest article here on Dirty Feed, script editor and writer Andrew Ellard takes issue with the poor quality of debate around the subject of studio audience sitcom…

This little piece in The Telegraph caused a minor kerfuffle just before Christmas. Catherine Gee gave her (negative) opinion on Miranda and Miranda’s fans, lent voice by Twitter and the ever-present ‘comment’ option, responded angrily.

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*CAT

Published 11th October 2010

Computing

Sometimes I feel I do nothing more than to waste my life tediously pointing out that just because something is old, it doesn’t mean it’s worthless. Sometimes, however, even I have to admit that society has moved on. Slapping hot girls on the arse with no warning is no longer an acceptable part of society, and nor are public domain libraries. Going through a catalogue, selecting your discs, filling out the order form, writing out a cheque, popping it all in the post, and waiting for a week has been replaced by the simple click of a mouse.

However, going through yet another of my boxes recently, I found my old paper catalogue for BBC PD; a BBC Micro public domain library. It’s catalogue no. 15, from June 1993; vague memories tell me it was the penultimate one before the library closed down, but I can’t confirm. As I can’t find any scans online, I thought some of you might find it interesting. As ever, apologies for the bad state of the source material and my terrible scanning:

BBC PD Summary Catalogue No. 15 (PDF, 32MB)

Sadly, the library closed down before I could order more than one set of discs. Thanks to the wonders of the internet, however, most of the library is available from 8bs.com – search the page for “BBC PD Library”. (The disc-based version of the catalogue is also available.) Finally, I can hear all that music removed for copyright reasons…

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1-800-JERRY

Published 3rd October 2010

Theatre

Whilst rummaging through some old boxes yesterday, I had a choice. I could either scan part of an “erotic” “story” I wrote with a friend at primary school about a classmate, or an old leaflet from one of the Battersea Arts Centre productions of Jerry Springer: The Opera.

Luckily for you, I chose the latter. This is from the February 2002 run, when the production was still quite different from its final form:

Jerry Springer: The Opera leaflet

Altogether more wholesome than filth about 11-year-old girls.

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Yeah, but what pixels (NSFW)

Published 1st September 2010

Computing

In my early teens, access to hardcore porn was a rarity. There was a Joy of Sex on the top shelf which I used to “borrow”, and Cosmopolitan ensured my life would follow its usual route as a sitcom character. Unfortunately, I did spend time writing a BBC BASIC program which would ask for my name, and then provide random dirty responses to my one-handed tapping. This is quite possibly the saddest thing anybody has ever done ever, and I certainly won’t be digging it out of the box of discs upstairs any time soon.

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Resolution independence, or: an article in which I demand to affect the roadmap of OS X 10.7

Published 18th August 2010

Computing

Whatever your opinion on the iPhone 4, it’s hard to disagree that the Retina display is really rather excellent. Phrases like “It looks like print” are cliched, and entirely true. It’s the single biggest reason I’m not buying an iPad this year; no point buying one now, when I suspect one with a Retina-like display will be released next year.

The thing I find most fascinating about it is that it reminds me of when colour depth ceased to be a big deal to most people in terms of specifications. (At its extremes in the early days of home computing, to get the highest resolution on a BBC Micro, 640 x 256, you could only display two colours at once.) As soon as technology advanced enough so that 24-bit, 16.7 million colours in high resolution became standard, the general consumer stopped caring, as that’s the most granularity the eye can make out. Exactly the same is now happening with pixel density on mobile devices; we are approaching – or at, depending on your point of view – the point where it’s impossible for the eye to make out individual pixels, and there’s little point going much further. And whilst Apple may have got there first, this kind of display will surely become standard across all high-end phones over the next couple of years.

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FREE! RADIO 5 DOORHANGER

Published 12th August 2010

Radio

Whenever people talk of the old BBC Radio 5 – the one with actual children’s shows on, rather than just sounding like it – the one thing that’s often missed out on is: “How was it sold to the kids?”

In answer, here’s a scan from excellent BBC kids magazine Fast Forward, August 29 – September 4 1990 – sadly, I have lost the aforementioned doorhanger promised on the cover:

Radio 5 Fast Forward article

I have quite a few old Fast Forward issues here; if anyone wants to see more of Andi “Ask Me Blooming Anything At All” Peters, or Phillip Hodson’s fucking harrowing column, just ask…

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