Dirty Feed

What The Papers Say

Published 15th April 2021

HACKER: Don’t tell me about the press. I know exactly who reads the papers. The Daily Mirror is read by people who think they run the country. The Guardian is read by people who think they ought to run the country. The Times is read by the people who actually do run the country. The Daily Mail is read by the wives of the people who run the country. The Financial Times is read by people who own the country. The Morning Star is read by people who think the country ought to be run by another country. And The Daily Telegraph is read by people who think it is.
HUMPHREY: Prime Minister, what about people who read The Sun?
BERNARD: Sun readers don’t care who runs the country as long as she’s got big tits.

– Yes, Prime Minister, “A Conflict of Interest” (TX: 23/12/87)

The above is one of the most famous sequences in the whole of Yes Minister and Yes, Prime Minister. And like so much of the best comedy, it’s many things at once. A forthright piece of satire on the media, a character moment for Bernard… oh, and a rude joke into the bargain.

It was also, in some circles, a well-worn piece of material by the time it was broadcast on the 23rd December 1987. And the original version of that material was certainly not written by Antony Jay and Jonathan Lynn.

Not that any of this comes under the Official Secrets Act. It’s often been talked about on Twitter, people have asked about it on forums, and it’s also briefly discussed in Graham McCann’s excellent book, A Very Courageous Decision: The Inside Story of Yes Minister. But nobody seems to have collated all the different strands of this little story together in one place.

So here is the tale of where this routine comes from… or, at least, as close as we can get. I can’t promise you that I have found the true origin of this material. But I believe I have managed to get further back than anybody ever has before. And if you already think you know definitively where this material comes from, then prepare to be surprised.

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best of, yes minister

Talking Stock: Hi-de-Hi’s Closing Credits, Part Two

Published 8th April 2021

TV Comedy

Dear reader, I fear that with my last article, I may have pushed your goodwill too far. Moreover, I may yet do so again before the end of this article. So before you click away and resolve to never to read another word of this dumb website, let’s quickly dive into some of the good stuff I’ve been promising.

So, where exactly does the stock footage used in the end credits of Hi-de-Hi! come from? Well, let’s throw ourselves straight into some Pathé archive, shall we? And immediately, something rather exciting makes itself obvious…

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Talking Stock: Hi-de-Hi’s Closing Credits, Part One

Published 2nd April 2021

TV Comedy

Last time, I talked at length about the stock footage used in the opening titles of Hi-de-Hi! They took us on a whirlwind tour of important news stories from the late 50s/early 60s, and do a beautiful job of setting up the mood of the show before Ted even mentions his latest scheme.

The closing credits take a different tack. We’re still in newsreel land, but they’re not of important news stories of the day. Instead, it’s a trip through actual footage of holiday camps from the period. It’s the perfect goodbye to each episode, and again adds a real sense of verisimilitude to the show. It also seems to look like a gift to any researcher tracing down the origin of the clips used; surely, if anything, clips of people having fun would be even more delightful to wallow in?

Sort of. In fact, I’ve had a few problems researching this footage, which makes it rather more irritating than I’d hoped. You may eventually get a dopamine hit with this one, but it’ll take a while to get there. Before all that, we have to deal with some exciting sitcom admin. And the major reason for this admin is that unlike the opening titles, which stay the same for every single episode, the footage used in the end credits keeps changing.

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hi-de-hi!, talking stock

Drop The Dead Donkey: George’s Wedding?

Published 26th March 2021

TV Comedy

There is something very suspicious about Series 4 of Drop the Dead Donkey, you know. And it involves poor old downtrodden news editor George Dent.

For years, we’ve heard about his dreadful life with Margaret, his wife. About her cruelty towards him, about her affairs, about him having to go and sleep alone in the attic… and about how she eventually divorces him. This comes to a head early in the aforementioned Series 4, with “The Day of the Mum” (TX: 13/10/94). The day Margaret remarries.

Except brilliantly, rather than resulting in more misery for George, the episode culminates with his delicious revenge instead:

DAVE: Oh no, let me get this straight. You hired a beautiful call girl to accompany you to your ex-wife’s wedding just to rub her nose in it, and then you got this woman to make a pass at the groom… and ruined their wedding day. That’s what you did, isn’t it George?
GEORGE: Yes. That’s what I did. And it was the best £2000 I have ever spent.

Indeed, for a while, things begin to look up for George. In “Helen’s Parents” two weeks later, he’s met someone new. And not some “sad old spinster who’s picked up George because her favourite Labrador’s died”, as Henry so delicately puts it. She’s gorgeous.

GEORGE: I’d like you all to meet Anna, everybody.
ANNA: I am very pleased to meet you all.
GEORGE: Anna is from Poland.
ANNA: But now my English is quite good. One day I hope to even understand Loyd Grossman.

In case you thought the show would let George be happy for long, you are very much mistaken.¹ The very first time we see her alone with George in his office – “This is my wall planner – where I plan things… on my wall” – we are immediately suspicious of Anna’s reactions. The show doesn’t leave us with much mystery about her intentions towards him.

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Unlike in real life, where Jeff Rawle ended up marrying Nina Marc, who plays Anna, in 1998. And they’re still together. Awwwww. ↩

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drop the dead donkey

Talking Stock: Hi-de-Hi’s Opening Titles

Published 18th March 2021

TV Comedy

Out of all the many great things about Hi-de-Hi!, one of my very favourites is how the show achieves such an achingly specific sense of period.

Part of that is the beautiful location filming, at Warner’s Holiday Camp in Dovercourt. Part of that is because Jimmy Perry lived and breathed this world, rather than spending his whole life indoors attempting to become a writer. And part of that is the brilliant theme music, which – much like the Dad’s Army theme – sounds like something which was sung at the time.

But alongside the strains of “Holiday Rock” is another, less-talked about means of establishing exactly when we are. Look past the close-up of Paul Shane’s face in the opening titles, and stock footage – mostly from the late 50s – plays in the background. A quadrant of key historical events of the time. And that same footage was used from Hi-de-Hi!‘s pilot in 1980, right through to its last episode in 1988.¹

So, where is this footage from? The answer is contemporary newsreels, mostly from the late 1950s, from outfits like Pathé and Visnews. And helpfully, the paperwork for the Hi-de-Hi! pilot lists every single one of the newsreels used, along with their catalogue number. So I thought it would be fun to try and trace every newsreel clip used in the opening titles, and find the full versions of each online. That, to me, seems like a worthwhile way of spending my life. I presume, if you’re still reading this article, that reading such a thing seems a worthwhile way of spending your life too.

First, the good news. I’ve managed to identify every single historical event depicted in the opening titles, and trace a good number of the original newsreels, especially when it comes to the Pathé material. On the other hand, even with the original paperwork, some of this material has been impossible to find. Exactly why is a bit of a story in itself, and I’ll explain along the way.

So take a trip with me now to 1959…

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The opening was amended in 1984 to accommodate Simon Cadell leaving the show, but the background footage remained the same. ↩

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hi-de-hi!, talking stock

The Most Exciting VT Clock in the World

Published 15th March 2021

TV Comedy

I have so many things piled up, just waiting for me to find the time to watch. High on that list is Angels, which I’ve promised someone I’ll give a proper go, after they took the time to watch Tenko on my recommendation.

So, instead, I’ve… started my umpteenth rewatch of Drop the Dead Donkey. Oh well, whatever. We’re in the middle of a pandemic, I need my comforts. And you deserve your comforts as well. If you spend any kind of time reading this site at all, hopefully you’ll enjoy this little observation.

Let’s take a brief look at the final episode of Series 1, “The Big Day” (TX: 11/10/90). We’re not going to tackle the main plot, about whether it’s Henry or Sally who gets to interview Margaret Thatcher. Instead, we’re going to concentrate on the episode’s chorus: a friendly, if mildly irritating electrician.

Or more specifically, what’s on the monitor behind him. Surely that’s not…

Electrician with VT clock in the background

DROP THE DEAD DONKEY
INSERT 17
SHOW 10 INSERT A
AFRICA

Amazing. And just in case you thought that might be any old Drop the Dead Donkey VT clock, “The Big Day” is Show 10. And the very first VT insert of the show is indeed set in Africa, where Damien tempts a young child with chocolate before smacking them round the head to induce the requisite crying:

Child after just having been hit by Damien

Clearly, the team needed something technical to route to the monitor on-set in order to look the part, and just chose the output of the VTR machine used to play in the pre-records… hoping that we wouldn’t be looking too closely. They clearly thought I’d have better things to do in 31 years time. They were incorrect.

I can’t be arsed trying to identify the other 16 inserts used throughout the series, though. What, do you think I’m sad or something?

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drop the dead donkey

How to Write Your Very Own Dirty Feed Article

Published 1st March 2021

Roughly 3,000 Words on Yes Minister Pilot Edits

Published 28th February 2021

TV Comedy

When discussing the origins of Yes Minister, one story seems to loom above all: a nervous BBC delaying the series until after the 1979 election. The following version of this tale, told by writer Jonathan Lynn, seems a good a place to start as any. On that pilot recording:

“That Sunday, we recorded the show. I had asserted, with a confidence I did not wholly feel, that it would get laughs. Neither of us¹ quite expected the gales of laughter which came from the studio audience that night. John Howard Davies lost little time in commissioning three more scripts, to make the first series of seven. Then we waited, and waited… and waited.

The Winter of Discontent approached and government all but broke down, and the BBC refused to transmit the first series until after the forthcoming election, which turned out to be not until 1979. They were scared that it would be seen as improperly influencing the election. Finally, three years after we had first proposed the show to the BBC, we went on the air in February 1980.”

Jonathan Lynn, “Comedy Rules”, p. 107

Perhaps Lynn can be accused of indulging of some spin of his own here. I’m willing to take him at his word that it was three years since he and Jay had proposed the series to the BBC, but that isn’t the real point when it comes to this particular delay. The heavy implication in the line about the election not being “until 1979” is surely that the pilot was made in 1978; otherwise, why not say “later that year”?

In fact, the pilot of Yes Minister was shot on… the 4th February 1979, a year before it was broadcast on the 25th February 1980. The election clearly caused a delay, but perhaps not for as long as Lynn indicates here.

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Lynn is referring to his co-writer Anthony Jay here. ↩

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best of, edits, pilots, yes minister

Cambridge 1959

Published 19th February 2021

TV Comedy

Right now, I’m deep in the middle of researching the stock footage used in the opening and closing titles of Hi-de-Hi!. Which, I’m sure you will all agree, is the best possible thing I could be doing with my life.

So as a little taster: have you ever wondered exactly where the footage which opens the pilot comes from, which the caption proudly proclaims is “Cambridge 1959”?¹

Tough, I’m going to tell you anyway. I can EXCLUSIVELY reveal that it was taken from this short 1957 Pathé travelogue, called Cambridge Backs.

Which starts with a mild admonishment of the audience, because of course it does.²

Wait, so that was shot in 1957, but Hi-de-H! claims they’re showing Cambridge in 1959? MORE OUTRAGEOUS BBC LIES, CANCEL THE LICENCE FEE.

Incidentally, the music used on Hi-de-Hi! for this sequence is a specially recorded organ version of “Gaudeamus Igitur”. ↩
“Silly to be nervous.” ↩

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hi-de-hi!

Wally Who, What, When, Where, Why?

Published 15th February 2021

Radio Comedy

It’s odd, the things which can become obscured so easily.

Take Wally Who?, an early Grant Naylor radio sitcom from 1982, which I’ve written a bit about recently. It is not, to be fair, a series which is currently part of the pop culture zeitgeist. I am not expecting to find huge screeds written about the show in Digital Spy, nor am I expecting BBC Sounds to commission Obsessed With… Wally Who? But there are certain things which you think would be easy enough to nail down.

For instance: the number of episodes of the programme broadcast. That’s fairly basic. In fact, it might be the single most basic fact you could expect to know about a series. And yet every source online seems to have a different answer.

The BBC website lists 5 episodes. My old hangout Ganymede & Titan says 10 episodes. radiohaha also says 10, although erroneously gives the network as Radio 4 rather than Radio 2. The British Comedy Guide gives 5 episodes. Rob Grant himself says 8 were commissioned. Somebody even sent me a copy of what is listed internally at the BBC; they have 5 episodes, although the last one is confusingly labelled Episode 6.

What the bloody hell is going on?

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