Here’s the Thing:

Seth Godin, “Freelancer empathy”:

“When phone cameras got good enough, portrait photographers scolded people who took their own headshots.

And when the Mac got pretty good at typesetting, professional designers pointed out that people who can’t tell a font from a typeface and don’t care about kerning should avoid it.

Professional translators bring humanity and insight to transforming writing from one language to another, but many people continue to use Google Translate…

Here’s the thing: the translators take their own headshots. Web designers often use translation software. And life coaches build their own websites with Squarespace and put their own selfies on Linkedin. We all make our own decisions, and most of the time, we use tech to do it ourselves.”

Greg Storey has an issue with the above – not the message, but the writing itself:

“What happens when a prolific author integrates AI into their work so much that it turns up wholesale in their writing? Seth Godin – said prolific author – recently posted an argument for hiring freelancers instead of using technology on his blog. While I agree with his message I paused when I began the fourth paragraph which starts with a telltale sign of AI writing.

Here’s the thing: nobody writes like this, only the robots. Now, I’m sure there are folks out there who do but it is now so prevalent that it stands out like a statement on a back of a consumer product: Made by AI.”

In other words: using the phrase “Here’s the thing:” makes your product look like the output of AI.

* * *

Dirty Feed, “And What About the Vegetables?”, 30th August 2024:

“But here’s the thing: the above joke is most certainly not original to Spitting Image.”

Dirty Feed, “Still Not Writing”, 26th May 2022:

“But here’s the thing: if the only reason you’re not writing is because you can’t find a decent blogging directory, you don’t really want to write.”

Dirty Feed, “Seventh Heaven”, 2nd June 2021:

“But here’s the thing: most UK audience sitcoms in the 80s only had one day in the studio per episode.”

Dirty Feed, “Talking Stock: Hi-de-Hi’s Closing Credits, Part One”, 2nd April 2021:

“Here’s the thing: we have actually seen these shots before.”

Dirty Feed, “I Didn’t Know You Were Allowed to Say Wanker on Television!”, 24th January 2021:

“Here’s the thing: we have access to more of this cut material.”

Dirty Feed, “A Weekly Look at the World of Science and Technology”, 13th February 2020:

“Here’s the thing: that press release was changed after publication.”

Dirty Feed, “Cheap Cheap Cheap: Escape from the Cuntery”, 22nd September 2018:

“Here’s the thing: I was entirely wrong.”

There are also loads of instances of me writing “Here’s the thing” without a colon, but I think you get the point. Needless to say, none of the above was written using AI. Especially as I was using the phrase in 2018.

* * *

Now, you can very easily accuse my writing of all kinds of terrible things. But one thing it very obviously isn’t is the product of a robot, even in a limited fashion. I am very comfortable that Dirty Feed comes across as purely the output of my diseased brain. It might not always be good, but I think it’s pretty much always distinctive.

I do admit that Greg Storey acknowledges “I’m sure there are folks out there” who write like this, but he still states that it makes your writing look like AI. But of course AI will mimic people’s writing patterns; that’s the entire point of it. We can’t get hung up on things like this. Second-guessing phrases like this really is a road to nowhere. A piece of writing does not stop being alive because you use the occasional phrase like this, and a piece of writing does not magically become alive if you avoid it.

Indeed, I think if you do get hung up on things like this, you could run into a different problem: you could stop sounding like yourself. And if you stop sounding like yourself because you’re terrified of writing like AI, that hardly seems like a win. You actually do risk draining your writing of character, and ironically making it read more like AI.

And if you don’t buy that, then how about this: altering your writing style based on all this is silly, because in three years – perhaps less – the language models will avoid those all these tics anyway, in favour of fresh ones. I’m not wasting my time chasing what the latest AI engines are up to. I’m too busy writing.

* * *

No, I’m not going to stop using dashes either. Sod off.

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